The Death Eater: Rising
by AineLavena
Summary: It's Severus Snape's 7th year at Hogwarts, and the civil war in the wizarding world is reaching its highest point. Casualties abound, and friends are pitted against each other as taking sides becomes inevitable.
1. Chapter 1:  Halfblood

Severus Snape had a hard time feeling comfortable sitting on a couch that probably cost more money than his entire house. He felt that his mere presence was an insult to the room, so elegant and refined and so unlike his own pathetic figure scrawled all over the delicate tapestry. Next to him, Narcissa went on and on about the only topic that could interest her: blood purity and how the reforms being planned by Lord Voldemort were the only way to ensure that magic was not lost from the world. Severus did his best to listen politely, but was too fidgety since he half-expected Narcissa to suddenly realise that he was actually a half-blood and turn him out of the room.

Yet, even though he felt dirty and unworthy, even though the absurd fear that they would realise what he was always lingered somewhere in his mind, Severus would rather be at Malfoy Mannor than at his own house. At Malfoy Mannor, there was no screaming, no harsh words, breaking things and no shrieking. In fact, it was as though everyone there were making an effort to be as silent as possible, creating an atmosphere akin to that of a sanctuary. Severus appreciated the difference; at Malfoy Mannor he was free to read or think without disturbances of any type— provided Narcissa did not get into her that it was her duty to act as a hostess.

Besides, the mansion was so evidently magical that Severus couldn't help but feel at home. At Spinner's End, everything was so hopelessly _Muggle_ Severus felt as though the very atmosphere was sucking his magic dry. Malfoy Mannor couldn't have been more different. All of the painting in the walls moved and occasionally whispered to each other, the tapestries changed colour and subject according to what best fit the host's dress and the room was illuminated by floating candles. In occasion of Christmas, a host of fairies had been brought and encased in glass balls which where then made to hover all over the ceiling and drift from one room to another. This way, the light in the room was constantly changing colour, turning from red to blue to green to warm yellow and then in a glorious combination of all. A humongous Christmas tree had been bewitched so snow was constantly falling on top of it, covering the silver ornaments which had been bewitched with a Glowing Charm with an extra layer of shine. Even the elf, who sauntered in and out at odd intervals to make sure the tea and crumpets were not running out, had had its head covered with mistletoe as a joke.

When he had left Spinner's End for the first time seven years ago, Severus had not dared dream that he would one day move around in such circles, that he would one day be intimately acquainted with one of the oldest, richest and most powerful families in wizardkind. He had never dreamt such mansions would exist, or even less that he would be invited to spend whole evenings over there.

But even now, when he most desperately wanted to forget his own origins, they piled upon him in a most overwhelming manner. He knew he was out of place, he knew he was not worthy of such honours. His robes were second-hand and carefully, though inexpertly, patched up. His hair was greasy and limp no matter what he did to it. He was awkward and inelegant. Why neither Lucius nor Narcissa seemed to realise any of that was a mystery to him. But Narcissa kept on talking, her white hands moving elegantly to give emphasis to her words, and she seemed not to notice that the young man sitting right in front of there shared blood with one of the Muggles she so detested.

"I'm so proud of Lucius for going out and doing the right thing, while so many others just sit back comfortably and wait for change to happen all of its own!" Narcissa was saying, her cheeks flushing pale pink with excitement. "That, Severus, is precisely what happens when magical blood is washed down and muddled— these are the times we have come to! Sloth and inaction. There is no more glory to be had for wizardkind, unless it is in protecting our old ways, the values that were instilled in us by our ancestors."

At that moment, the doors to the sitting room were thrown open and Lucius entered, still wearing his plain black Death Eater's robes, his mask hanging from his left hand. Narcissa stood up from the chair and promptly received him with a kiss.

"Tea, darling?" she asked. "Dobby!"

The house-elf entered the room pathetically sporting its mistletoe wig, carrying a cup of tea as though terrified that it might come to life at any moment and bite him. He put the cup reverentially on the coffee table and left. For a moment, Severus himself felt like a house-elf, trying not to get in the way of the pleasantries being exchanged by the young couple while he tried to lose himself in a couch that was probably worth more than he was. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Lucius finally took note of him.

"Severus! I'm glad you could come for dinner. I'm awfully sorry to keep you waiting, I had other important matters to attend to." He half-lifted his mask to show what he was taking about, then grabbed the cup of tea that had been brought to him and stared at it in disgust. "It's filthy. How many times to I have to tell it not to touch our things with its filthy fingers?"

"Allow me, dear," said Narcissa, taking the cup. "_Scourgify_!" She performed the spell so perfectly that the cup seemed almost to shine in the dim torchlight. She then poured tea for her husband with a wave of her wand, and Lucius sat down on the couch right in front of Severus, who acknowledged him with an awkward nod.

"Well, Severus," said Lucius. "There is something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a while now." Narcissa waved her wand and Snape's empty cup was magically refilled. "But first, I want to ask you a question. Are you still serious about joining the Dark Lord's service once you graduate Hogwarts?"

Severus felt his heart jolt. This question could only mean that an important request was forthcoming. That meant that Lucius had actually picked him, that he had found Severus to be trustworthy and with enough merits to ask him to do something. It also meant that no one cared that he was only a Half-Blood; in the minds of the people that mattered, Severus was more Prince than Snape. He did not even need to think of the answer.

"I am," he said.

"Good." Lucius smiled. "I've always known you have your heart in the right place, my dear friend. Of course, with your brains, you'll do splendidly among us. What we want to ask of you is fairly simple, yet important. We want you to identify the Hogwarts students that may become Order of the Phoenix members in the future."

"That's easy," said Severus without thinking. "Potter and his friends, for once—"

"There must surely be more of them," said Lucius, waving a hand dismissively. "But I want you to do a full reconnaissance mission. I want to know their fighting styles, their weaknesses, family members, even their wand cores if you can get that information."

"It's no problem at all," said Severus.

"I know it's not," said Lucius. "But you're already well-placed at Hogwarts, and this is important information you need to gather. Plus, it would serve you as a recommendation to the Dark Lord once you graduate."

Severus smiled but didn't find anything to say. While his mind had quickly sauntered over to Potter as soon as the Order was mentioned, a small sliver of doubt started making its way through his mind.

What about Lily? She was noble (and therefore stupid) enough to want to join the Order. It would be such an incredibly _Lily_ thing to do, believing it was her duty to save the world. He could probably warn her— but would she even talk to him? Maybe there was still time to patch things up with her. At the very least, he'd be in a position to protect her, even if she never thanked him for it. Knowing she was safe would be enough reward. Besides, being a Death Eater was a far cry from being the awkward kid at school. Perhaps that was all it took for Lily to notice him, since she already seemed to have a penchant for powerful show-offs. He'd show her how powerful he could be.

Lucius was still talking.

"— but it won't quite be undercover, since you've never made a secret where your allegiances lay, and Dumbledore is bound to be keeping an eye on you. Then again, you haven't been screaming about it like Mulciber and Avery. It's a miracle Dumbledore still accepts them at his school. Which reminds me, I've got a little present for you. You're going to like it. Elf!"

The house-elf returned into his room, his long, thin fingers now covered in bandages. He was carrying a book with a rag so he wouldn't sully the object with his filthy skin. Severus was immediately pleased to see that it was a rather large book. Lucius snatched the book from the house elf, who gave a tiny whimper and quickly left the room.

Lucius sat down on the sofa next to Severus, and opened the book. The pages were huge and the font was tiny— just as Severus loved them.

"It's about Occlumency," said Lucius. "I know you've been studying that for a while. But this is a rather special book. If you go over to this page…" he started carelessly flipping the pages, making Severus anxious. He just wanted Lucius to stop so he could read at least a couple of sentences somewhere on the book. The urge of knowledge was rising in him. "Ah, here it is."

Lucius had stopped at a page which did not contain letters, but a large, embroidered rectangle that covered most of the page as if it were a frame. There seemed to be nothing remarkable about that particular page, but Severus could feel intense and powerful magic flowing from it, and Lucius was making a point of angling the page away from himself.

"When you gaze into this page, it shows to you the thoughts in your head that are accessible to others," said Lucius. "Basically, it is a book that performs Legilimency on you, therefore giving you a relatively safe way to practise Occlumency." Severus's urges to peek into the book were immediately curtailed. Although he had a reasonably good control of himself, he still wasn't completely sure what the book would reveal, and didn't quite feel like finding out in front of Lucius and Narcissa.

Lucius passed the book to Severus, who quickly changed the page and began slowly leafing through it, taking in the old-book smell and the tiny font and the heavy, crisp pages. After quickly scanning the index he turned to a chapter on specialised compartmentalisation and began leafing through the pages. He didn't realise how shut off he became from the conversation until Lucius prodded him in the arm.

"Put that away for a moment, Severus, you'll be able to enjoy it later. I was telling you that Narcissa's cousin, Regulus, is coming over. He's at Hogwarts as well."

"Yes, I know him. And— his brother." Narcissa's nose immediately scrunched up as though she had just smelled something disgusting.

"Do not talk of him," she said. "The blood-traitor is no longer related to us."

Again all this talk of blood. Severus looked up, but Narcissa was too angry at her cousin to pay any more attention to him. Which was good, really, since that way neither of them was liable to pay attention to him.

"Don't worry yourself too much about it, darling," said Lucius. "It happens in the best of families. Why, one of my great-great-grand uncles was hanged because he ran off with a Muggle girl. Of course, such measures are no longer approved, but there are always ways of getting rid of unwelcome family members."

"Oh, believe me, if I ever find a way to do it, I will," said Narcissa, her nose scrunching up even further. As the conversation devolved into what measures should be taken by the Ministry to prevent more interbreeding, the talk quickly focused on Andromeda, Narcissa's sister. From there, they began talking about mudbloods, and for once Severus gladly joined in. Mudbloods made people like him seem much more legit by comparison.

Lucius had begun outlining the new government project that would allow wizards to go out of hiding and take up their rightful place over Muggles when a guttural bell rang somewhere in the mansion, and Narcissa quickly stood up. It was evident from the blank look on her face that she'd already heard about this project one too many times, and only kept listening out of politeness and consideration for her husband.

"That should be Regulus," she said. "You men go on to the dinning room, I'll go up to greet him. Lucius, straighten up your robes, dear, you look windswept."

Severus and Lucius stood up from their respective chairs and began walking down the familiar hallway into the Malfoy's cavernous dinning room. The hallway was long, with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side and a series of large mirrors on the other, so it looked as though it had almost no walls at all. The hallway usually relied on the moon and sun to give it light, but tonight the sky was dark and only a very soft silver glow illuminated their way.

As Severus walked down the passage, he caught a glimpse of himself in one of the mirrors and frowned. His hooked nose, inherited from his Muggle father, seemed to become longer and more prominent every day. It reminded him unpleasantly of the things his father had inherited him, including the greasy hair, flat feet and the tendency to explode when he was angry. _Like the time I called Lily a mudblood_, he thought miserably. He glanced again at his profile and felt the incredible urge to smash a mirror, but he knew he had to rein in and control his barbaric Muggle impulses. The feeling of awkwardness had come back to him in full force. He could feel his dirty blood crawling through his veins, slowly distorting his features until he resembled Tobias Snape most of all.

_If only there was a way to cleanse myself and erase my Muggle ancestry_… thought Severus, ashamed of himself, as he followed Lucius to the dinning room table, where he clearly did not belong. At least, not yet.


	2. Chapter 2: Mudbloods and War

As soon as she crossed the barrier between the Muggle and the magical world, Lily felt her heart lift. Although considerably less full than it had been at the beginning of the school year, Platform 9 3/4 nonetheless bustled with students. Lily saw the owls and cats and robes and pointed hats and the overlarge trunks with fondness as she dragged her own trunk toward the scarlet steam engine waiting for them on the tracks. Behind her, her parents walked in silence, their usual awe of the magical world replaced with queasiness and mistrust.

Something was definitely different this time. Something strange and heavy lingered on the air, sucking out all the liveliness from the scene, as if a grey curtain had been thrown over the platform, shutting out both life and magic from it. Lily had already started to notice it at the beginning of the school year, and even on the year before that. The atmosphere at Platform 9 3/4 was not festive at all. Kids no longer ran around showing off their new Christmas presents, they no longer played pranks on each other, no longer yelled and screamed and generally caused mayhem to let out their excitement at returning to Hogwarts.

War was upon them, and made itself known in the most silent and terrible ways possible.

The smaller kids stuck with their parents, giving them drawn-out hugs and tearful goodbyes, not quite understanding their mother's sobs and their father's tearful looks as they regarded their children for what could very well be the last time in their lives. Friends ran into each other's arms, happy to find them still alive. The older students gathered in small groups and talked in hushed tones, most of them carrying that day's Daily Prophet, which Lily knew very well detailed three fresh attacks on families of Muggles, one attack on Muggle-borns and a thirty-minute battle in one of the London suburbs between the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix. She'd been hiding the paper from her parents the whole day.

"Well—" she said, and turned to look at her mom and dad. For once in her life, Petunia's absence from the platform hung over her like a concrete block, ready to crush her at the slightest provocation. Lily had no way of knowing whether her sister was still safe, whether their house still stood with nothing but the blue sky above it— Lily didn't particularly like Petunia, especially after their sibling rivalry had reached such ridiculous proportions, but she did not want her dead. She especially did not want her sister dead only for being related to her. She looked into her father's eyes and realised that he too was mentally at their house with Petunia and that boyfriend of hers rather than Platform 9 3/4. While her parents might feel safer having him there, Lily was sure that even Vernon Dursley the school boxing champion would be no match for a group of Dark Wizards should they decide to target her house. And why wouldn't they? But why would they?

She looked at both her parents and did her best to imprint their faces on her memory, but realised that she couldn't. With their worried, absent looks, this wasn't the way she wanted to remember them if something happened. She wanted to remember them happy and smiling, proud that their youngest daughter was a witch and heading off to magical school. She did not want to look back on this moment and see nothing but the dark circles under their eyes, the permanent creases on their foreheads, the way they kept crossing their arms in front of their chest as if shielding themselves from something— from everything.

"Take good care of yourself, Lily," said her father, gently grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling her close so that he could kiss her forehead. Lily went in for a full embrace and lingered a moment so she could feel her father's deep breathing, his thick barrel chest against her cheek, his large hands clasping his magical daughter as though he never, ever wanted to let go. After a few seconds that felt like eternity, Lily finally stepped back and looked her father in the eyes. They were full to brim with tears he refused to let go.

Her mother wasn't as controlled. As soon as Lily turned to her, she threw herself in her daughter's arms and hugged her so tightly Lily could almost feel her ribs groan under the pressure. Yet it was as if that single, desperate gesture had opened the floodgates. What was the point of pretending to be strong, when life was revealing itself to be short and feeble and so _fragile_? Lily and her mother began weeping into each other's shoulders, pulling the other tighter and tighter until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began among the tangle of freckled arms and red hair.

"You will write to us every day, won't you?" asked Virginia Evans. "And— and you'll be safe, won't you?"

"Of course I will, mom," said Lily. The tears in her eyes made her mother's face blurry, and Lily realised that her mother had never looked so beautiful in her life. "And you— you write every day as well, okay? Just to make sure you're also safe. Please, mother."

"I will, Lily," said Virginia, kissing her daughter and giving her one last hug. Lily put a hand on her parents' shoulders, looked at them one last time and then the three of them fell into a hug, giggling madly.

"I need to go now," said Lily. "We need to give the prefects some post-Christmas instructions—"

"Take care of yourself," said her mother. "And _write every day_. Promise."

"I promise," said Lily. She kissed her parents good-bye one last time and then dragged her trunk toward the prefects' carriage.

Just as she was dragging the trunk along the hallway, she felt herself being watched, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She quickly turned around and whipped out her wand, expecting the worst, but on the other side of the corridor there was no one but a short seventh-year Slytherin girl named Iracunda Caliginis. Lily stopped and lowered her wand, but could not shake away the nervousness that had grasped her. After all, could she really trust herself around a Slytherin, when so many of them were eager Death Eater wannabes? The seconds crawled by and Iracunda did not move, but remained staring at Lily. She had huge brown eyes and flyaway hair, which gave her a slightly maddened look as she glared at Lily, whose heart was now pumping too fast for comfort.

"This is a wizard's train," Iracunda said finally. "I saw you with those— your _parents_. They're not wizards, which means neither are you. And _I_ will show you your place!"

Iracunda threw her silver and green scarf around her shoulder and began walking toward Lily, her eyes opening wider still. Lily let out a little whelp and stumbled backward, her calves hitting her trunk— and then the compartment door slid open.

"Evans! What's wrong?"

For the first time in her life, Lily was incredibly grateful to see James Potter. He stepped out of the compartment and looked down the hallway at Iracunda, who had immediately stopped mid-stride. Her hand hovered around her belt, where she no doubt concealed her wand, but James was quicker than her. With his patented hero frown, he took out his wand and pointed it down the hallway.

"Is there a problem, Caliginis?" he asked.

"Or what?" asked Iracunda dryly. "You're going to put me in detention, Potter? Pft!" She turned around and left the carriage, trying but failing to look unconcerned. Every few steps, she'd swiftly turn her head around, probably waiting for a hex of some sort. In spite of what had just happened, Lily was pleased to see that James wasn't thinking along those lines. As soon as the Slytherin girl had slammed the carriage door behind her, he turned to Lily and involuntarily ruffled his hair.

"What was that about?" asked James.

"She—" Lily stuttered, unable to explain what had just happened. The look on the mad Slytherin's eyes was one she couldn't easily forget— it had been haunting her ever since the war had broken out last year. It was that look that made Lily realise those people did not see in her anything more than a diseased animal that must be slaughtered. Who knows what would've happened if James hadn't chosen that moment to come out of the compartment? She looked into his eyes, and he smiled at her. Of course he understood. 

"I wouldn't worry too much about her," said James, pulling Lily's trunk into the compartment, where Moony was already sitting with a book on his lap. "I've heard she's as mad as her father. Will probably end up in Azkaban with him after she graduates. _I'll_ certainly make sure all of those Slytherins end up where they belong."

"I— I just don't understand," said Lily. James gave a bitter laugh.

"You're beautiful and smart and incredibly good at magic; you're living proof that their ideas are just a bunch of bullshit," said James, causing her to blush slightly. "And all of the Slytherins have Death Eater tendencies. It's practically a badge of honour among them. Even Snivellus. But you're already aware of that, aren't you?"

Lily waved her hand, as if to disperse James's comment from the air, where it hung like a toxic fume. Why did he have to remind her of _that_? The less she thought about Sev, the better. She was already feeling the intense lump in her chest that came up every time someone mentioned him to her. She didn't need the additional guilt— especially not from James Potter, however grateful she might be feeling toward him at the moment.

She decided the time was ripe for a change in subject. She searched around her mind for something, anything, and the first James-related thought in her head blurted out of her mouth before she had time to really think about it.

"How's your mother, James?" she asked, and James's face immediately became dark. Moony's eyes stopped moving about the page.

"Not good," said James. "I— I was actually contemplating not coming back to school after Christmas because— you know, because I wanted to stay and take care of her. But she convinced me to come. Minnie's taking good care of her, at any rate. She's really devoted to my mother. But— but dad's death really messed her up. I can tell. I— I don't think—" He fell silent and sat down on the empty seat in front of Moony. Lily quietly sat down next to him and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm really sorry about that," she said.

"Yeah— well— they were getting a on a bit," said James, trying to look unconcerned in spite of the tears welling up in his eyes. "I mean— it's not completely unexpected… but still. It hurts."

"Of course it does," said Lily, squeezing his shoulder. She wasn't sure what to say. The James she knew and half-detested was a goofball, overconfident and careless. This James— well, he clashed with the mental image Lily had already formed of him.

"Yeah, well, it's no use to be like this," said James, standing up. He stretched, ruffled his hair, stuck a goofy smile on his face and was almost back to normal. "She expects me to do great on my last year, and that includes fulfilling all Head Boy duties. You've no idea how proud she and dad were when they appointed me— Come on, we've got to round the prefects and give them the mid-term instructions. I was about to do so when I saw you on the corridor."

He winked at Lily and went out of the carriage. She stayed sitting there for a few moments, wondering if it was a good idea to go after him. Maybe rounding up the prefects was just an excuse to keep busy and not have to think, and Lily would hate to interrupt that. On the other hand, she felt like she had to repay him somehow for having stood up for her with the Slytherin girl, and thought that maybe she could find a way to distract him from his mother's illness. Just as she was about to stand up, Moony leaned over his book.

"He's really changed, you know?" he said quizzically, then buried himself back in the book. Flustered and not knowing what to do with herself, Lily followed James outside the carriage.


	3. Chapter 3: The eye of the storm

The atmosphere at the Slytherin Common Room on the last day of vacations couldn't have been more awkward. Illuminated by the soft emerald light of the torches, the students sat in silence and conversed in whispers, or else pretended to be studying or finishing homework. Their minds, however, couldn't help dwelling on the next day and how they would be bearing it.

Slytherin House, Hogwart's pure-blood bastion, had so thoroughly become the enemy that even the most oblivious first-years had noticed the hostility displayed toward them at dinner, when the Great Hall had filled with whispers and glares and a general atmosphere of heaviness and suffocation. The younger students wondered whether the hot-headed Gryffindors would decide to attack them on account of what their uncles, parents and relatives had allegedly done during Christmas break, and whether it wasn't a better idea to get over it and try to join the Death Eaters so they'd at least get some protection for themselves. Those who had already resolved to join the Death Eaters were already planning all the revenge they'd be getting on the other students, making mental lists of the mudbloods they could harass so they'd get imaginary merits for when they left Hogwarts.

Only the seventh-years seemed calm. Their loyalties had been defined a long time ago, and since they already had one foot out of the school, couldn't care less about its petty drama and minor skirmishes between houses. They were biding their time and conserving their energies for the bigger things in which they would soon take part.

Severus Snape had been intercepted by Auric Avery and Irwin Mulciber as he made his way to the dormitory. They'd both dragged him to the high-backed chairs in front of the fire, and Severus had no choice but to agree to a game of Extreme Wizarding Chess. The 'extreme' part came from the fact that they Confounded each other before starting, so that they'd have to battle the haze and confusion in their minds to come up with a decent chess strategy. An added bonus to playing like this was that they couldn't trust themselves to order the pieces around, so they had to move them manually. As it turned out, magical chess pieces did not take well to being manhandled.

Next to them, Auric had settled with his girlfriend, Boudica Beadling, who sat on the floor with her back against his legs while she wrote a letter to her family. Auric had to make sure neither Severus nor Irwin got _too_ confused and began chucking pieces at each other like the last time.

The green firelight, though warm and comforting, wasn't doing any favours to Severus's warped sense of perception. He looked at the chessboard, which seemed to flicker in and out of existence, and wondered whether the piece he intended to move was a pawn or a castle disguised as a queen, or whether it was his at all. He decided to treat it like a pawn, and as soon as his fingers clasped around the piece, it began beating against his fingers with its tiny ivory fists.

"That's not even yours, Severus, that's Irwin's," said Auric. Severus looked at him without quite understanding what it meant, then decided that it wasn't important since Auric was not a piece.

"Hey, don't you want to write something to my father?" asked Boudica, showing Auric her letter.

"Yeah, send him my regards," he answered dismissively. "Severus, you're white!"

Severus immediately looked at his hands, but they were not any more pale than they usually were. It took him a while to realise Auric was talking about his pieces, and finally managed to move the one he meant.

At that moment, Regulus Black approached them and sat down on the arm of Severus's chair. Regulus'd been trying to get in with their group ever since the year started, with varying degrees of success that depended a lot on Auric's mood. Boa, however, seemed to like Regulus as a pet, and usually insisted they keep him around.

"Hey, has anyone heard about Professor Molpus?" he asked. "I heard he spent Christmas at St. Mungo's. Accidentally inhaled a whole vat of pulverised Doxy Dung."

"It won't matter that I didn't do the homework, then!" squealed Auric in delight. "See, Boa? How do you feel about having wasted so much time on it?" Boa glared at him and pushed him away when he leaned down to kiss her.

"One day! One day you'll get your comeuppance and you'll see, you lazy oaf!" she said, then laughed and kissed him.

"'Course I won't," said Auric. "We never got in trouble for what he did to Professor Dugal's substitute, didn't we, Irwin?"

"Last I heard, guy was still meowing," said Irwin, snatching at a piece and missing by a whole inch. He blinked and couple of times and tried again, this time knocking off what appeared to be a queen, which immediately began to squeal profanities at the players. Auric reached over and put it right again.

"I still maintain you went a little too far with that," said Boa.

"It's not like we did anything that wouldn't have happened anyway," said Auric.

"Yeah, I mean, the curse would've gotten to him anyway. And I'm pretty sure it's even harder if it's a Mudblood like Professor Molpus—"

"You're still going on— OY!— going on about that curse?" asked Irwin, looking at the long gash left in him by his king, which he had mistaken for a knight and moved to a wrong square. The king made a horrible face at him and called him some rather creative insults as it went back to his place, while Severus and Auric roared with laughter.

"The curse is real!" protested Regulus. "My cousin Bellatrix told me so. The Dark Lord has cursed the DADA position at Hogwarts so Dumbledore can't train the mudbloods to defend themselves or their stupid Muggle families. It's true— Bellatrix has been a Death Eater for years, and the Dark Lord _trusts_ her."

"So I've heard," said Irwin.

"This is a rook, right?" asked Severus, trying to discern whether the piece was a white rook or a purple wasp.

"You can't ask, Severus, that's cheating," said Irwin, mistakenly addressing Auric.

"What is wrong with you anyway?" asked Regulus. "I thought you were good at chess, Severus."

"He is," explained Boa. "But they do this stupid thing where they Confound each other before playing. They think it's more fun than—"

"Checkmate!" interrupted Auric. "That's a checkmate, Severus!"

"Of course it is," said Severus smugly, although he couldn't really see what Auric was talking about.

"You're getting good," said Auric. "Okay then— _Finite incantatem_!"

Severus blinked in his new-found clarity of mind and watched the chessboard. It looked nothing like what he had been picturing in his mind, but it was an unmistakable checkmate on his part, so he wasn't about to complain.

"That's not fair!" moaned Irving.

"I know," said Severus, who couldn't help but feel incredibly smug at his victory. "I should get myself a real adversary next time." He stood up and dodged the Stinging Hex Mulciber shot his way, and made a point to laugh loudly all the way to the dormitory. He'd learnt that the only way to get away with such comments was to immediately leave and wait for them to forget about it. Irwin and Auric were so self-absorbed it only took a few minutes for that, but Severus had been wanting to get away for a while. Besides, he always had the hope that if he shot enough snide comments their way, they'd eventually forget how better they were than him.

But now that he was alone in the dormitory and no longer obliged to socialise, he just wanted to be left alone to keep on reading the book Lucius had sent him. He'd been on the brink of doing just that before Irwin had suggested chess, and Severus couldn't refuse for fear of never being invited again.

The book was even better than Severus had dared to hope. Although he'd already read many book son the subject, he'd never read a book so thorough, or so willing to go into the deepest, nastiest parts of Occlumency. It did not just view the subject from a purely theoretical point of view, nor was it written by someone who had seemingly never heard about aggressive uses of Legilimency. It actually had five different chapters on shielding thoughts from enemies and outright attacks, dedicated about thirty pages for creative uses of the Pensieve and, if it sensed that the reader's mind was wandering away, it began reproducing their thoughts on paper. The first time he'd opened the book, he'd read five entire pages detailing his last encounter with Lily just before the Christmas vacations, and it had taken him quite a while to realise that Lily couldn't possibly be the subject of a book on Occlumency.

Since then, he started realising just how much his mind wandered even when he believed himself to be immersed in something else. His readings often devolved into long rants about Lily, Potter, Mulciber, his parents, Avery, Dumbledore, the Dark Lord and even— on one rather memorable occasion— breakfast. At first, it had been merely annoying, but it prompted Severus to a stricter mental discipline, until he could read for twenty minutes without the book changing the subject for him.

Even the mirror at the end of the book started showing him unwanted images less and less. Applying the tricks he had learnt in the book, he was managing to compartmentalise his thoughts in such a way that he could summon or banish them at his whim, without the book being able to read into those things he wanted to keep hidden. It was a messy and difficult process, and it involved a level of self-awareness that Severus had never thought possible, and he wasn't really sure it was a path he wanted to thread. He'd been discovering so many unpleasant things about himself that he wasn't sure he still wanted to learn Occlumency.

The first step towards compartmentalising a thought was to find all the branches it left throughout his mind. That meant finding all related thoughts, all the ideas that could be garnered from that thought and, above all, all the feelings related to said thought. It involved a long, tiresome mental process that forced Severus to get to know even the parts of himself that he didn't want to acknowledge, because the slightest thought left standing was like a thread that, when pulled, could unravel the whole tapestry.

_Emotions especially can betray a thought or a series of thoughts, because they are incredibly difficult to control, and most Occlumens have a hard time admitting— even to themselves— that a certain thought or series of thoughts may elicit certain emotional responses of them. It is part of the defence mechanisms put forth by the mind against its own weakness, of which the mind would rather not know, but which must nevertheless be acknowledged by the true Occlumens so that self-delusion will not become a weakness. Like when you were deluded into thinking that a girl like Lily could actually want friendship from you, that she would actually care enough to forgive you for your own stupidity— therefore it follows logically that mastery of the mind can only come from a complete knowledge of it._

Severus put the book down and massaged his temples. Compartmentalisation had certainly given him an advantage a while ago. Even if his conscious self was Confounded, he'd manage to compartmentalise the rational part of him so that it wasn't affected by the spell. It hadn't been a complete success, and would've probably not helped him at all had he been playing against a skilled chess opponent— or a true Occlumens. He still had a rather long way to go, and it bothered him to realise how weak and vulnerable he actually was. The most annoying part, though, was realising just how pathetic most of his thoughts and emotions were. The more he _felt_ about something, the weaker it made him against his foes.

Just as he was reflecting on this, the door to the dormitory opened, but instead of Auric or Irwin, Slughorn poked his bald head in. Severus's instincts immediately went into alert— Slughorn never entered the common room unless it was an emergency, and him going into one of the dormitories was completely unheard of.

"Ah, Mr. Snape, I'm glad you're here," said Slughorn. "I've been looking for you— the Headmaster wants to talk to you."

Severus bookmarked the page he had left off and closed the book, praying to Merlin it was as good teacher as it seemed to be.


	4. Chapter 4: Life advice

Most of Severus's Slytherin friends were already assembled outside the common room. All of them tried hard to look unconcerned, but Severus could feel the nerves and anxiety seeping out of them. There was Regulus Black, biting off his nails; Boa Beadling, clutching Auric Avery's hand; Irwin Mulciber, leaning against a wall and acting nonchalant; Alecto Carrow and her brother, Amycus, both looking stunned and stupid as they watched Augusta Cephei's pacing from one side of the hall to the other; and Evan Rosier, who twirled his wand around his fingers as he too stared at Augusta. Severus leaned on the wall next to Mulciber, who greeted him with a grunt and continued staring off into space. Severus could already see where this was going.

A few seconds later, the stone wall that concealed the Slytherin common room opened and Slughorn exited, accompanied by Iracunda Caliginis and Nanci Hawthorn. They both took places right in the middle of the group, and Slughorn shot a long, dark look at his students. His hands were folded in front of his chest and his hairy eyebrows met over his bulbous nose. He looked as though gathering air to say something, perhaps a long telling-off, but a few seconds later he deflated completely and seemed to give up on the idea.

"Please follow me," he said finally, looking grave. The Slytherins didn't know what to make of this— it was the first time in recorded history Slughorn had nothing to say, or did not dare say what was on his mind. They all avoided looking at each other as they followed their Head of House through the corridors, like a bunch of first-years that needed to be looked after… or a group of criminals in need of a guard. No one said anything on the way up, they were all trying hard not to make a sound with their feet, not to breathe too loudly and in general not to draw any attention to themselves.

The stone gargoyle leading to the Headmaster's office seemed to leer at them with its huge stone teeth as they crowded around it. Slughorn walked up to it and whispered the password so that the students couldn't hear what it was, which struck Severus as a rather odd security measure.

"Well, this is where I leave you," said Slughorn. "Will you please be kind enough to wait in the anteroom until the Headmaster calls you? He wishes to speak to each of you individually." He stood for a moment in front of his students, still giving off the impression that there was something he wanted to say to them, but again his courage failed and he just shook his head as he left back through the stone gargoyle.

The students filed into the revolving staircase, which took them two floors up to the anteroom. Three Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff were already there, waiting. One of the Ravenclaws, Penton Mumford, took a look at the arriving Slytherins and winced.

"We're that screwed, huh?" he asked.

"Well, they can't prove anything," said Iracunda.

"What are you talking about?" snapped Mulciber.

"Well, the Headmaster didn't invite us for tea, now did he?" replied Iracunda.

"But— but we haven't done anything wrong, right?" asked the Hufflepuff, Bertie Waddle.

"Of course we haven't," said Avery. "It's obvious what this is, isn't it? We're all purebloods. It's obvious our mudblood-loving Headmaster has got it against us. This is a blatant act of discrimination." Severus had been about to say something, but decided against it. It felt great to be counted as a "pure-blood", and he wasn't about to draw any attention to himself and give them a chance to realise that he wasn't. He settled himself next to Mulciber, with whom he exchanged a dark look. Neither of them trusted themselves to speak, but for very different reasons.

"Well, if that's the case, my father will certainly hear about this," huffed Augusta Cephei. "In the times of my great-great-grandfather Phineas Nigellus Black, this would have never, _ever_ happened."

The door to the Headmaster's office opened, and Dumbledore peeked out, smiling at the students as though he were really delighted to see them there.

"Miss Gibbins, if you would do me the honour?" he said. The Ravenclaw girl shot Mumford a look, and then followed Dumbledore into his office. As soon as the door closed, Mumford turned to the Slytherins.

"I don't know how he's doing it," he said. "Twaddle and Pickney have already gone in to talk to him, but they haven't come back out. We don't know if he's crowding people in there, or if he's got a secret entrance."

"Or maybe he's killing them off," said Iracunda with a grin.

"What? What? He wouldn't do that, would he?" asked Alecto Carrow. Everyone glared at him to shut him up.

Severus looked at them all, keeping a resolutely serene expression on his face. He blocked out their stupid conversation and began working on compartmentalising his thoughts so Dumbledore wouldn't have access to his conversation with Lucius. What else could this summoning be, but a warning against those who had at any point expressed tendencies that were unpleasant to the Headmaster? Not all of them were buddying Death Eaters, though— Iracunda Caliginis, Bertie Waddle, Augusta Cephei and Anthony Pickney, as far as Severus knew, were guilty only of having mad relatives, which was pretty much a given if you were a pureblood. But, of course, Dumbledore couldn't take any risks with his precious school, could he?

But no— it was no use mulling these thoughts over when he ought to be locking them up. That was always the problem with Occlumency. One thought inevitably led to another and suddenly you've spun a huge web in your mind and you realise you've connected two seemingly unrelated ideas. It then becomes a chore to lock away both, and follow every thread of the web to make sure you haven't missed a connection. Thinking about not thinking only made it worse. That was why being an Occlumens was so incredibly hard, it was nearly impossible to stop a train of thought once it started.

One by one, the students were called into the Headmaster's office. None of them came back, but only Alecto was stupid enough to seriously believe someone as soft as Dumbledore could actually be murdering students. That was a train of thought he could safely follow— but even the realisation led him back to the thoughts he was trying to conceal. This was much harder than it seemed at first glance. Severus moved further away from the rest of his classmates, because their stupid ongoing talk was not doing his concentration any favours.

Finally, it was Severus's turn. The Headmaster beckoned him in from the door, and Severus entered the office, allowing the Headmaster to shut the door behind him. Severus did not want to appear anxious or concerned, because there was absolutely no reason to feel that way. He approached the Headmaster's desk and took the seat that was offered to him. Next to him, the Essence Readers displayed on the spindly tables hummed and whirred almost pleasantly.

"Good evening, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore. "Before we have our first little chat, would you care for something to drink? Tea? Milk? Hot chocolate?"

"No alcohol?" Severus asked before his overclocked brain could take control of his mouth. For a second, this had seemed like the kind of situation that needed at least a shot of Firewhisky to infuse courage in him. Then Severus remembered who he was talking to. However, to his relief, Dumbledore's smile became just a little less strained.

"I am afraid not, Mr. Snape, since you don't become of age until next Monday," he said. "Will tea do?" It took Severus a while to process that Dumbledore had actually bothered learning his birthday. He looked around the desk for a file or something that could've given the Headmaster the information just seconds prior, yet there was nothing there but a small, cheerful box full of multicolour sweets.

"Tea would be fine," he said finally, not knowing what else to say. It was incredible how little it took to disarm him, even now when he was supposedly just a step away from becoming an adult. 'Next Monday' indeed.

The Headmaster waved his wand, and a cup with an ornate light blue pattern materialised on the desk in front of Severus, who just stared at it, unsure of what to do or say. He wanted to be strong, to show Dumbledore that he couldn't care less, but suddenly he realised that he couldn't. It was his first year all over again, and he'd just been caught hexing Potter even though Potter had started the fight. But somehow, everything was his fault and now he needed to pay for it, even if he was not sure what that 'everything' could be. It was completely unfair, yet Dumbledore still smiled as though everything was all right in the world.

"Mr. Snape, I brought you and your friends here on this fine evening because I need to talk to all of you, and I'm afraid as you're about to graduate Hogwarts, this is not something that can be put off any longer," said Dumbledore.

"I thought we'd be getting career advice from our Heads of Houses?" asked Severus.

"This is not strictly career advice, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore, thoughtfully. His blue gaze was set on Severus with such intensity that Severus felt as though the old man could look right into him. Yet it was not an aggressive gaze, merely a mildly curious one. Severus felt naked and vulnerable rather than exposed an angry, and the feeling thoroughly confused him. Perhaps it was because the only way Severus knew of dealing with people was through anger, but that particular emotion had always seemed completely out of place in the Headmaster's presence. There was just no point in being angry if all you'd be getting for your troubles was a smile and a twinkly-eyed gaze.

"What is it, then?" asked Severus.

"_Life _advice, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore. "I am thoroughly concerned about you and some of the friendships you've been keeping."

"Well, that's for my parents to worry about, isn't it?" asked Severus, immediately jumping to the defencive. Dumbledore was starting to sound just like Lily before— but no, no point of thinking about that now.

"Mr. Snape, I just wanted to talk to you before you made a mistake that may ruin your life," said Dumbledore, and he stood up from his chair. He began pacing around the office, his grand golden robes sweeping behind him. Severus took the opportunity when Dumbledore wasn't looking and drank a sip of tea. It was delicious. "Your case interests me very much, Mr. Snape, because I don't believe you're quite like your friends, Mr. Mulciber and Mr. Avery, or even Mr. Rosier. And I don't believe you quite know what you're getting into, either. Mr. Snape, are you really aware of what Death Eaters do?"

Dumbledore stood in front of a window, looking out into the Hogwarts grounds. It was fortunate, since Severus had just blushed in a way that did not seem possible in such a pale face. He looked down at his long, thin hands and began fiddling with his thumbs. What could he possibly answer to such a question that would not get him into trouble?

"I will tell you what they do, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore. His voice had turned harsh and strong, and Severus's sense of danger started pulsing. "This is no longer some political crusade, misguided though I may consider it to be. This is not even a war anymore— at least not by normal, civilised standards. Death Eaters murder, torture, rape and destroy, often without provocation. And I am not talking about the radical few that have always given themselves up to such activities. I am talking about young men such as yourself, who are forced to murder to 'prove' themselves as true Death Eaters before they are accepted into the group."

Dumbledore paused, giving time for his words to sink into Severus's mind. Of course he had heard those rumours— who hadn't? Yet Lucius had already assured him that it was nothing but rumours— and who would know best about it? Dumbledore's reports were obviously skewered and incomplete. Yet again, there was nothing that Severus could safely answer. Not if he wanted to stay at Hogwarts long enough to get the six NEWTs he had been dreaming about since his fifth year.

The silence became long and awkward, since Dumbledore obviously expected a reply that Severus couldn't give him. What was there to explain that Dumbledore, so loved and respected, could understand? What could Dumbledore understand about finally finding a place where he fit in, where people appreciated him for his talents and were eager to ask for his help? What did it matter if they had their dark side… didn't everyone have their flaws? Even Potter, saint Potter, was nothing but a sadistic egomaniac. What really separated Dumbledore's side from Voldemort's, when the Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry of Magic were as eager to torture and kill without remorse or contemplation? What good could the supposed 'good side' be with people like Potter and Black among its ranks?

But Dumbledore was too in love with his own mythos to understand that, wasn't he? No, silence was the best option, no matter how awkward it seemed. Besides, Severus was already well acquainted with awkward.

"You refuse to understand the truth, Mr. Snape, even if it is right in front of you," said Dumbledore, and his tone was now openly hostile. Severus began to feel a little more at ease, because he now had a legitimate reason to respond with hostility. "The Death Eaters are not some kind of school club. One you are in, there is no going out. Voldemort would rather kill his supporters than allow them to defect. I have ample evidence of that, if you would like to see it. Furthermore, while I do not believe you have a specific agenda, it won't matter, because Voldemort will provide one for you. On joining the Death Eaters, you will effectively be giving up your free will to Voldemort's whims. Is that what you want?"

Still Severus refused to answer. More rumours and baseless accusations that had already been addressed by people better informed and less biased than Dumbledore. But trying to defend his position— one he hadn't yet officially taken— would just seem stupid and childish at the moment. The best thing would be to let Dumbledore finish venting and then run back to his dormitory, where _he _would be able to vent in peace, away from those blue eyes.

"Mr. Snape, you are still in time to reconsider your future," said Dumbledore, his tone soft and conciliating once again. "You are still in time to prevent a horrible mistake. You are still my student, and therefore I care about you. But once you are out there— once you have made the choice— you will become the enemy and I will not have a choice but to hunt you."

Ah— the inevitable threats, not even the great Dumbledore was immune to them. Severus smiled at this, but did not reply. Dumbledore finally sighted and gave up.

"You may go now, Mr. Snape. Think over what I have told you. You are young and you are brilliant— I would hate for you to make such a terrible mistake so early in your life," said Dumbledore. For a moment, his gaze darkened, and his blue eyes lost all of its brightness. "Believe me, Severus, the great mistakes we make while young haunt us for the rest of our lives. Especially because— more often than not— we hurt those we love through our childish ignorance. Think about it, please.


	5. Chapter 5: The good guys

"— and when they took the Charm off, it turned out to be a hippogriff beneath the wig!" Lily's laughter rang loud and clear across the Gryffindor common room, causing a few heads to turn in their direction.

_That's right_, James wanted to say to all of them, _I'm making Lily Evans laugh. She's finally enjoying my company!_ However, he had a nagging suspicion Lily wouldn't giggle and blush like other girls, so he refrained from doing so. If he had known all it took to have Lily laughing like _that_ was to tell his uncle Harry's anecdotes, he'd have tried it much, much sooner. Especially since he loved telling those anecdotes almost as much as he loved talking about Quidditch.

"I bet he never made another deal with a Russian after that," said Lily, still laughing. James was transfixed for a moment by the way her cheeks flushed with colour, the way she seemed to laugh with her entire body. She looked warm and beautiful and so full of life it took all of James's self-control not to kiss her right there and then.

"Actually—" he said, bringing himself back to reality, "actually, there's also this time when he and Aunt Elisha went to Poland and—"

"Prongs! Hey, Prongs!" James closed his eyes and counted to ten. For the first time in his life he wanted to kill Padfoot. Finally, _finally_ he was getting along great with Lily— why the hell did he think he could just butt in like that and interrupt? Especially when Sirius knew how much this meant to him!

"What's up?" asked James. Even though he tried to act undisturbed, the strain in his voice could be heard.

"You gotta come up to the dorm," said Padfoot. "It's urgent."

"I'm talking with Lily," said James, and he immediately hated himself for the pleading tone in which it came out. Well, this was important. More important than anything Padfoot wanted to show him, anyway. Damn it, getting along like _this _with Lily was more important than anything that had happened to him in his seven years at Hogwarts, including winning the Quidditch Cup five times in a row.

"Come on, dude, it's urgent," said Sirius. "Just come up here a sec." James shot a look at Lily, who was giving him a smile full of sympathy. Those lips! That smile! Those beautiful green eyes! James _would_ murder Sirius for taking him away from all of that.

"Don't worry," she said. "I still need to go over my Potions homework. But you can tell me all about your uncle's visit to Poland tomorrow at breakfast, deal?"

James Potter was the happiest man on earth as he climbed up the stairs into the dormitory he shared with Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail.

"Prongs, you know I'd never, _ever_ interrupt your thing with Lily unless it was really important," said Padfoot, grabbing James by the arm and dragging him inside. James followed him to his own bed, where Wormtail was already sitting and clutching the Marauder's Map in his hands, getting sweat stains all over it. Padfoot noticed and slapped him away from the map, growling at him like a dog before turning back to James. "But you really need to look at this. We were planning a little coming home present for Snivellus and we saw this."

James grabbed the Marauder's map and looked at it. It took him a while to find Snivellus, because he wasn't at any of his usual haunts. The first incredibly strange thing was that Snivellus was standing outside the Headmaster's office, presumably waiting for his turn to go in. The second strange thing was that the anteroom was full of all the shady Slytherins, two pure-blood Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff whose father was allegedly a Death Eater. A third Ravenclaw was sitting in the desk right in front of Dumbledore.

James looked up from the map and stared at Sirius, who looked as though his parents had just died. It took Padfoot a while to unstick his grin and be able to talk again.

"Dude— you see?" he asked. "Now, why don't we go and see what all that's about? Wormtail and I have been looking at this for a while. Dumbledore's using that neat trick of his to get the students to go out through the third floor corridor. Remember when he used to do that to us so we couldn't come up with an alibi? Dude, they must be in some _serious_ trouble. We need to go check it out, maybe say hi to Snivellus."

"Or goodbye," snickered James. "I'm game."

"Me too!" squealed Wormtail. Sirius glared at him for a moment and then shrugged.

"What about Moony?" asked James.

"Playing chess with Travis," said Padfoot. "We're not going to be able to move him from there, Moony's never going to get a good night's sleep until he beats Travis at chess. But he's a killjoy, anyway. This'll be better without him."

"Let's go, then," said James. "Lemme just fetch my father's cloak." James dove into his trunk and pulled out the long, flowing silver cloak, which he then stashed under his robes.

"I really hope they expelled him," said Padfoot.

"No you don't," said James, grinning. "You'd have no one to amuse yourself with."

"Yah, I might miss him, but not too much," said Padfoot. "You really don't want evil people like that at Hogwarts, do you? I'm surprised he wasn't expelled sooner. They're just poisoning everything at Hogwarts. That's why we teach them a lesson. People like Snivellus shouldn't even exist anyways."

"You're right," said Wormtail. "They're— they're pathetic and people like them shouldn't even exist anyways."

"Yeah, that's what I said," said Padfoot. "Okay? Everyone ready? Let's go!"

Lily was no longer in the Common Room when they got back down. It had emptied considerably, only Moony and Travis were still locked up in their chess match, both looking intensely concentrated. Moony didn't even notice as his friends snuck out of the Common Room. The Fat Lady, already tired of them, didn't even bother telling them off this time. Out of habit, they waited until they were out of her line of sight before putting on the invisibility cloak in case they ran into any of the teachers.

The way to the secret door was deserted. They arrived there and saw a Slytherin seventh-year, Iracunda Caliginis, coming out of the entrance. James remembered the way she had insulted Lily on the train, the way she'd been about to hex her, and felt a wave of intense anger upon the sight of those owl-like eyes and dishevelled clothes. She'd obviously attacked Lily out of pure jealousy, but maybe James could use his invisibility advantage to teach her a lesson now. Without a word, the three of them moved closer to the Slytherin, but James suddenly stopped his friends and motioned for them to let her pass.

"Let me just put a small hex on her," said Padfoot.

"No— wait," said James. "She's— she's crying."

"So? She's probably just been expelled," said Padfoot. "No less than she deserves. Let's give her a parting gift."

"No." James always drew the line with girls— especially if they were crying. Snivellus was always fair game because he was undoubtedly evil and could fight back well enough James did not feel as though he was being unfair. So he managed to restrain Padfoot until the Slytherin had cleared the Hallway. They found a good hiding place behind a suit of armour and took out the Marauder's Map. Snivellus was sitting at the Headmaster's Office. Dumbledore's dot was pacing from one side to the other.

"Oi, what I wouldn't give to be in there, listening to that," said James. "I've waited for this moment my entire life…"

"Here he comes now," said Wormtail, pointing at the map. The dot marked Severus Snape was moving toward the door, escorted by the Headmaster. Both dots hesitated for a second at the door and then Snivellus's was transported to the third floor corridor, not far from where the three of them were sitting. They exchanged gleeful looks and James tucked the Invisibility Cloak back beneath his robes.

# # #

There was something about Dumbledore's tone that disturbed Severus to the point of erasing everything else. He barely noticed that the door to Dumbledore's office now led him somewhere in the third floor rather than the usual anteroom guarded by the gargoyle. Somehow, Severus was sure he had just gotten a rather disturbing glimpse into the real Headmaster, the person behind the eccentricities, the lemon drops and the benign smiles. He'd glimpsed some of the hurt that surfaced beneath the pleasant remarks and the incredible power. And it somehow made Severus feel dirty, as if he just wanted to scrub himself from that knowledge so that he could continue regarding the Headmaster like an old fool that needed to be treated with contempt. Dumbledore was a symbol, dammit, not a human being.

He was so abstracted by his thoughts that he forgot to take in his surroundings, and by the time he heard the footsteps approaching it was already too late. His brain was still trying to process what just happened, and therefore he didn't immediately turn around and whip out his wand. Instead, he just stood there and waited for the inevitable.

"Well, well, isn't it our old friend Snivellus." How was it that Potter and Black always managed to find him when he was alone in the corridors? It was almost as if they could smell his loneliness. Slowly, stupidly, his fear dragged his mind out of the Headmaster's office and brought it crashing down to the deserted hallway. But now, it was already too late to even think about fighting. He could hear Pettigrew wheezing behind him and the sound of Potter's ego swelling to unbelievable proportions.

"Headmaster finally come into his senses and expelled you, Snivellus?" asked Potter, coming within his range of vision. His whole body was tensed up into a stubbornly casual attitude, but the fingers gripping the wand destroyed the effect. It took Severus a couple of seconds to process what he'd said. How the hell did they know? Black and Pettigrew had already walked around him so that the three of them were facing him, all three of them holding their wands.

Then again, there was always the element of surprise. After such a confusing talk with the Headmaster, Severus was not in any mood to put up with their abuse from the "good side" Dumbledore was so eager to turn him to.

Pettigrew was closest to him. Severus turned around in a swift movement and punched him on the face. It was sudden and unexpected enough that Potter and Black took two seconds to react— two seconds too many. Severus whipped out his wand and Disarmed Black before Potter got back his senses and blasted him against a wall. Severus felt his ribs meet the stone wall and he fell on a heap on the ground, his wand clattering into the ground somewhere to his left.

"You're all pathetic," he gasped from the floor. "Three against one and you can't even—"

"Oh, we can't?" growled Black, baring his teeth as he knelt down in front of Severus. "Seems we already have. Now listen here, _Snivellus_. We don't want the likes of you around—"

Severus lurched forward and tackled Black to the ground. He managed to get a punch in before Potter once again sent him flying to the other end of the hallway.

"Oi! I'm bleeding!" yelled Black. Potter approached Severus, who was now completely out of air, and put a foot on his chest.

"You hurt my friend," he said.

"I'll hurt you too," gasped Severus. Potter laughed.

"Oh I'd like to see you try, Snivellus," said Potter. Severus looked up at him with as much hate as he could muster, which wasn't hard because soon Pettigrew's ugly face popped back into the picture. "Y'know, I don't think you've learnt your lesson yet. Hogwarts has no place for scum like you. We know what you are, and we don't like you."

There was a flash of red light and a bang. Severus felt the pain of the blow before he realised the spell hadn't even been aimed at him. Potter flew a couple of feet into the air and fell on the ground.

"Drop it," a deep voice said, and both Black and Pettigrew froze. Another flash of red light, another bang, and Black landed on the ground right next to Potter. Pettigrew squealed and took a couple of steps back. "You, away." He squealed again and his wheezing and gasping could be heard echoing across the hallway as he ran away from the scene of the crime.

Severus looked up and saw Mulciber standing next to him. A fresh wave of humiliation washed over Severus, it wasn't enough that Black, Potter and Pettigrew kept following him around to hurt him, now even his friends had to see it all. However, Mulciber did not look like he was going to laugh. He just offered Severus his arm and helped him stand up. Severus gladly took his help and they walked back together to the Slytherin Common Room in silence.

_Evil my arse_, thought Severus


	6. Chapter 6: Potions pairoff

Severus couldn't help re-reading his Potions essay as he waited for Slughorn to arrive and begin the first class of the second term. It was the best homework he had done yet. It certainly made a difference to have the Malfoy Mannor's library at his disposal rather than having to work at his Muggle-infested house at Spinner's End. He'd managed to write four feet more than had been required of him, even though he'd left out an incredible amount of information out.

"Hey, Severus. Eh… are you busy?" Severus looked up to find Iracunda's owl-like face staring at him with huge brown eyes. He gave a yelp and pushed back against the wall.

"No— not busy," he said, regaining a bit of composure. Hadn't these people heard of personal space? "I was just going over my homework."

"Oh, right," she said. "I made five whole feet. How'd you do?"

"Eight," he said. Iracunda's eyes opened up even wider.

"You're really good at potions, are you?" she said.

"Of course."

"Well… that's great… um… there was something I wanted to ask you," she said.

"I hope it's not marriage," said a voice behind them. Both Iracunda and Snape turned to see who it was— Sirius Black, with his idiotic grin and his tie on his head like a band. "Even _you_ could do better than Snivellus, Calaginis, and that's saying something."

"Scoot off, blood traitor, I wasn't talking to you," said Iracunda. She stared at Black, who grinned back at her but didn't move. Exasperated, Iracunda threw her arms up and walked away from them, leaving Severus wondering what she had really wanted from him.

Still, upon further inspection, Severus was pleased that Black hadn't quite been able to cover up the swelling in his nose after the punch Severus'd given him yesterday. Thankfully, the corridor was already filling up with other students, but Severus was sure there'd be retaliation of some sort sooner rather than later. He spotted Mulciber coming down the hallway chatting with Boadica Beadling. Severus wanted to rush over to them, feel the kind of safety one only gets when being surrounded by friends— but he wasn't a pathetic coward like Black and Potter. He stood his ground where he was, and suddenly noticed Black eyeing his homework with an unpleasant grin on his face.

In a swift movement, Severus stashed his roll of parchment inside his robes and whipped out his wand, pointing it between Black's eyebrows, quickly trying to think of a hex that would be humiliating and not prone to getting him into trouble. The other students assembled for class were looking in their direction, and out of the corner of his eye Severus saw Potter running to the rescue. He had only mere seconds to act now that he, for once, had the upper hand—

"What is this? What is this? No fighting in the hallways, you know the rules, boys," said Slughorn, coming out of the Potions Dungeon. Severus turned around and quickly put his wand back in its place, turning pale. A million excuses rushed into his head until he realised that Slughorn didn't even pay attention anyway. "I'll let it slide _this time_, since we're just coming back from Christmas and all… but frankly, boys, I'm getting tired of all this inter-house rivalry. I'm going to do something about it. Come on all in and form a line in the back of the room. And Mr. Black, put on your tie properly. It's been seven years, one would've thought you'd learn how to put on your clothes by now."

Confused by this new set of instructions, the students shuffled into the classroom, some of them snickering as Black hastily took off his tie. As Severus picked up his bag with a grin on his face, Ravenclaw student Penton Mumford approached him and whispered: 

"Next time he's being a nuisance, just try _Semperpustula Immensus_." He then straightened his own tie and went into the dungeon, followed by Severus, whose grin was almost uncontrollable now. It was hard to be angry when in the Potions Dungeon; he loved the simplicity and straightforwardness of it: the clearly-organised jars holding potions ingredients and the worktables all neatly arranged and waiting for the simmering cauldrons and the chopping utensils. Inside this place, he would always be better than Potter, who was an utter failure at potions, could ever dream to be.

"Good, good, everyone's assembled," said Slughorn, looking at the students with a thoughtful expression. "Today we'll be doing something a little bit different. I'm pretty sure you all studied charm-based potions during the Christmass break like I asked you. I'll be picking up your homework at the end of the class. But I'm sure that, by now, you already understand the principles well enough. Today, I want you all to be creative and prepare for me one of the recipes you investigated. I'm going to divide you into pairs so you can work together. Lily, dear? It's been a long time since you paired off with Mr. Snape. I remember you two used to be brilliant together. Why don't we give it another go? I'm sure you'll be able to patch up your differences over a simmering cauldron, eh? Come on, you two can work next to my desk."

Severus could feel a cold sweat breaking over his forehead, sticking strands of hair to his face. He didn't even dare look in the Gryffindor's direction, didn't even dare look at Lily. He didn't want to know what kind of face she was making, whether she looked pleased or disgusted or embarrassed… she was probably trying to smile at Slughorn, she loved being on good terms with the teachers. Still looking resolutely at the floor, Severus dragged his schoolbag to the work table right in front of Slughorn's desk and began taking out his potions kit and second-hand cauldron.

And he had so many great ideas for this class! He'd done so much research and wanted so many things but how could he even look Lily in the eyes and start telling her all his ideas like he used to? How could he even begin acting as though nothing had happened, as though she hadn't spent 2 years avoiding him? What was he going to do? Ask her to pass him the hemlock and _please please please just forgive me this has gone too far_? She'd probably smack him with the ladle.

And suddenly there she was. Severus recognised her delicious flowery perfume before she came into his limited range of vision. He lowered his head even more so his curtains of black hair covered his face. He knew he couldn't bear her looking at him, couldn't bear the look of hatred and repulsion she no doubt had.

Slughorn, meanwhile, was still dividing the rest of the class into pairs and didn't seem to realise something was wrong. Severus suddenly found himself without anything to do with his hands. He put them clumsily on the table, looked at the ink-stains from his earlier revision and then withdrew them inside his sleeves so Lily wouldn't look at the mess.

"Everyone's settled?" asked Slughorn. There were a couple of angry grunts, but not much more in the way of a response. "Good, good! Now, since these types of potions are a bit more complex, we're going to be working like this for the next month." Severus heard a moan of disappointment, but didn't dare look up and see who it was. "The couple that makes the best potion will be awarded with a special little surprise I've prepared for you. So now, I'll give you ten minutes to discuss with your partner what is it that you want to do and then I'll come by your workbenches and discuss your projects with the both of you. Begin!"

Severus lifted his head half a millimetre and then thought better about it, but maybe lowering it back down would look stupid, so he remained still while his neck stiffened and cramped from the unnatural position.

"Well?" Lily's tone was so harsh Severus hunched his shoulders as if that could protect him from her anger. Could it be that her anger had cooled down absolutely nothing in two years? "I suppose you've a million brilliant ideas already, so on with them."

"I—" Severus began, but his voice was weak and shrill and not the kind of voice that would make you forgive anyone. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Lily. She did not look angry or disgusted, merely resigned. Severus wasn't sure it was an improvement. But it had been too long since he'd had her so close, and she was finally listening to him. He had to try again. "Listen, Lily—"

"Look, Severus, I already told you I don't want to hear about it," she said. "You've made your choices, I've made mine. You're still hanging out with those horrible people, which means there's nothing for you and me to talk about anymore. I just want to get a good grade, okay? Let's just get this over with."

"But—"

"Shut up, Severus. I'm serious. I saw what you were going to do to Sirius—"

"— he started it!" burst out Severus, his voice coming out a pitch too shrill in his anger and indignation.

"That's always your excuse, isn't it?" asked Lily dryly. "Somehow it always turns out you're the victim, doesn't it? It's time you grew up and started taking responsibility for your own actions."

"Lily—"

"I said that's enough! I don't want to talk about it anymore, I just want to get this over with. Let me look at your notes."

"My—?"

"Don't tell me you've stopped making notes."

"Oh." Severus rummaged in his bag, but he was so clumsy that he ended up spilling his quills and rolls of spare parchment over the table. As he struggled to pull them back in, he knocked over a phial with his elbow. Lily repaired it and picked it up with an exasperated look on her face. Flushing to his very soul, Severus passed her the notes and looked down. It didn't even occur to him to try and find Potter to shoot him a smirk. He'd been longing to get a chance to talk to Lily again for two years and now the circumstances were all wrong, it was worse than his most horrible nightmare.

He didn't even look up as Lily went through his notes. This was getting more and more awkward by the minute, he didn't even dare look up to see what other pairs had been made. Severus could've killed Slughorn for this.

"This— this is brilliant," she whispered.

"Of course it's—" Severus stopped himself just in time. His wounded pride had almost flared up his ungodly temper once again. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply and realised that did not help calm him down. Instead, he tried to concentrate with all his might on the task at hand.

"Where did you get all this information?" asked Lily.

"Malfoy Mannor," said Severus without thinking. "They've this great library full of all kinds of old books and—" He stopped upon the disgusted look on Lily's face. She immediately let go of Severus's notes and pushed them toward him as if they could bite her at any second.

"Great," she said flatly. "You choose what we'll do, then."

"But—" Severus began. Of course. Why even mention the Malfoys to Lily? She _hated_ them! Narcissa had spent her last two years at Hogwarts making Lily's life impossible, how could he have forgotten? How could he even begin fixing this mess?

At that moment, Slughorn stopped next to them, smiling so wide Severus could've knocked off at least eight teeth with one punch. Sure, that'd get Lily on his side.

"And how are you two getting along?" he asked, his smile still wider. "Got any brilliant ideas yet?"

"We're still discussing," said Lily.

"Good, good," said Slughorn. "I'm happy you two are working together again. You used to be brilliant together! I know the times are hard right now, but we at Hogwarts must remain united in spite of all. It won't do to have fighting and rivalry between our houses. Especially when it's about students as brilliant as you are. It's just wasted talent, my dears. Just think about it. I'll look into the other pairs and then you can tell me what you've thought up together."

And with that, he sauntered off, balancing from one side to the other as well as his huge belly allowed. He went over to the next table, where James Potter and Boa Beadling had been paired off, to the intense displeasure of both, who seemed keen on making it known as loudly and verbally as possible. Potter was so displeased that, for once, he wasn't doing something incredibly stupid to catch Lily's attention. At least it was a plus. Severus looked around the dungeon, and saw that Slughorn had done his best to pair off the Slytherins and the Gryffindors, the mudbloods and the purebloods. This could only lead to disaster, especially with potions as complicated as the ones they were about to try. Already, half the pairs were bickering and shouting at each other, while the other half worked in resentful silence. On the other side of the Potions hall, a furious Iracunda threw a dead lout at Sirius Black's face, who retaliated by smearing frog guts all over her hair.

"Severus, pay attention," said Lily. "Come on, we need to do this."

"Sure… okay," said Severus. _Focus, dammit, focus. She liked you for your brain_. _Show her you've still got it_. "Okay, as you can see from my notes, I've already got a couple of ideas, but there was one I was dying to try—" Severus stopped for a moment. He'd been counting on making a team with Mulciber as usual. Lily definitely wouldn't like the potion he wanted to try, she wouldn't find the idea of selective organ petrification as interesting as Mulciber would.

"Which one?" asked Lily.

"This," said Severus. He flipped through his notes until he found a potion for stopping the spread of slow-working deadly curses. It was incredibly complex, but Lily was a million times better at Potions than Mulciber, so it might just work out right. "What do you think? It's a _healing_ potion."

"Oh… it… it seems like a good idea," said Lily. "I was expecting something different from you."

"You've got an entirely wrong idea about me, then," said Severus curtly, but Lily ignored him. "Well? What do you think?"

"It's gonna be a challenge," said Lily. "But it sounds interesting. I'll do it. Just one thing."

"Yes?"

Lily took a deep breath.

"This doesn't change anything," she said. "I still don't like you, the things you do or the people you hang out with. I just want to get a good grade. Understood?


	7. Chapter 7: Lily's dilemma

Lily couldn't remember ever being so grateful that potions was over. Standing next to Severus all that time was starting to make her feel awkward. He'd spent the entire class looking down and speaking in barely-audible whispers, slamming things around and then apologising profusely for it. She was starting to get tired of it, and not just because the constant apologising became annoying. It was easier to keep on hating Severus when she wasn't talking to him. After all, she could imagine him as she always saw him on the hallways: dark and sullen and cross and snapping at people just for the hell of it. She could imagine him off in some dark corner of the castle doing horrible things with Mulciber and Avery instead of regretful and diminished by her presence.

But now she couldn't help the sweet and shy boy she used to be such good friends with— before he was sorted into Slytherin. Lily could pinpoint that moment as the one where their friendship had started going downhill. Severus had changed for the worse. He'd always been awkward and Lily had always known about his dark side, but Slytherin had just seemed to enhance the qualities Lily hated about Severus. His awkwardness became aggression, his shyness turned into contempt. And as he tried more and more to fit in, he started looking for people to hate, people who were worse off than him so he'd look better by comparison: muggle-borns.

She had spent her first years at Hogwarts making excuses. She tried to remember the little boy she'd become friends with as Severus grew bitter and angry with everyone, as he and his friends became darker and more unpredictable. No one at Gryffindor could understand how Lily Evans could be friends with Severus Snape, but by that point they'd shared too much together to realise what kind of person her friend was becoming. It wasn't until their fifth year that Lily had opened her eyes… and then the lakeside incident had happened.

But then again, Severus had always made huge efforts to include her in his life, even if he always got teased by it at Slytherin. He'd never told her, but once or twice she'd caught the other students giving him flak for wasting his time with "the mudblood", yet Severus usually spluttered and stuttered instead of defending her like he should. He had developed a huge blind eye to all the things that were messed up in his mind, although Lily suspected that had happened before they'd even arrived at Hogwarts.

She still remembered how Severus had convinced that Slytherin was the best place to be, and now she couldn't believe that for a moment she had let the hat know she'd rather be in that house. She was incredibly thankful toward the Sorting Hat for having talked her out of that one— she didn't even want to imagine what would've happened if she had been forced to endure the Slytherins every single day for seven years straight. Either Severus was an ignorant idiot or he was purposefully cruel, he had to have known the Slytherin's attitude toward people of her birth. She still remembered the way he had hesitated during one of their first meetings, when she had asked whether her birth would affect her stay at Hogwarts. It was obvious he was lying back then. But why?

She turned to look at him, his face was scrunched up in concentration as he chopped up hellebore roots into uneven shapes determined by the magical ratio. He had been making a point of not looking at her all throughout the class, talking to the cauldron instead. She felt a little pity for him. After all, if there was one thing she was sure, was that her liking for her had been completely genuine. Maybe she should have worked a little harder to steer him to the right path, rather than leave him to be further influenced by the likes of Mulciber and Avery.

Severus looked at her out of the corner of his eye and blushed crimson when she noticed her looking at him. His hands began shaking and he accidentally mutilated a root. Lily had to suppress a giggle and Severus started muttering swearwords as he pushed the ruined ingredients away and started again. Lily continued stirring the cauldron, adding a pinch powdered dragon scales every time it started bubbling again.

"You could…" Severus began, and cleared his throat. "Maybe you could… I mean, if you want— but it would definitely be a good idea— but it's really up to you… adding some essence of clove to keep it from breaking down too much until next class… of course, it's okay if you don't—"

"I'll do it," said Lily, grabbing the small bottle with the bright green liquid. Severus gave her a tiny smile, thought better of it and finished chopping his roots with excessive force and tossed them into the cauldron.

He practically Disapparated the moment the bell rang. He stuffed his things on the table so fast that he forgot his quill on the table, but Lily decided against keeping it, because she did not want to have to give it back. Instead, she picked it up and went to give it to Professor Slughorn. As she walked to him, she noticed it was the quill she'd given to Severus for Christmas three years ago. Her eyes teared up a bit as she realised it, but it didn't change her resolve to just give it to the teacher.

"Ah, so sweet and considerate of you, my girl," said Slughorn. "I'm glad to see that you and Mr. Snape are working together again… I really missed the brilliance you two pulled off. And let me just say, I wouldn't have let any other students attempt the potion you're trying to pull off. It's incredibly complex and disastrous if gotten wrong, but I'm sure you two should be just fine."

"Thanks, Professor," said Lily uncertainly. Slughorn looked around to see that they were not being overheard by any of the other students.

"Look, Lily, I don't really know what happened between you and Mr. Snape, you used to be such great friends—"

"We had our differences," said Lily crossly. "I— I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry, Professor, but there are just some things that cannot be forgiven."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lily, but I'm sure that after working together—"

"I need to go now, Professor," said Lily. She gave the disappointed Slughorn a smile and grabbed her bag.

Her heart was heavy and her brain confused as she walked out from Potions and toward the Great Hall for lunch. She did not want to forgive Severus, that much was clear to her already. Not after he'd called her a mudblood in such a hurtful way, especially when she was putting herself in the line against James and his friends just to help him out… Obviously, he'd never appreciated her enough.

Yet, he seemed genuinely sorry about everything that had happened. And it was obvious he still missed her. But Lily had to ask herself: was he sorry enough to finally cut out all those horrible friendships of his? Maybe they could still reach a compromise, after all, every now and then she really did miss Severus—

"Hey, Lily! Mind if I join you for lunch?" James came bounding down the hallway. "I'm meeting Moony at the Great Hall, and then we can all go together to Transfiguration."

"Sounds good," said Lily, smiling. Moony had been right— James had really changed. He was much more mature, and now that she got to know him, incredibly funny. She hadn't laughed so much since she'd broken off her friendship with Severus. "Where's Sirius?"

"Oh, Slughorn made him stay back to arrange his detention," said James. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"What for?"

"Childish behaviour," said James, grinning. "They paired him off with Calaginis and they started squabbling and… well, you get the gist. He's probably going to have to go to the Hospital Wing to have that itch cured, though Calaginis will be lucky if all she gets from that is an itch. I don't know what Slughorn was thinking… pairing us off like that. You know who I got? Boa Beadling!"

"I don't know what Slughorn was thinking," said Lily, shaking her head. She'd had her fair share of run-ins with Boa Beadling, who seemed intent on filling Narcissa's shoes as the most prominent mudblood-hater at Hogwarts.

"So… Slughorn paired you off with Snivellus," said James.

"Yeah…" said Lily. She grabbed her bag for something to do with her hands. She didn't really want to talk about it, especially with James of all people.

"You didn't seem happy about it."

"No… perhaps not. You know how we used to be great friends but—"

"But then he called you a you-know-what." Lily shook her head. James was giving her a warm, comforting smile, and she just couldn't resist. She'd never gotten all of this properly off her chest… maybe James would understand? Could he have really changed this much?

"That was just the last straw," she said. "It was a bunch of little things just piling up over the years… I just couldn't take it anymore."

"I can imagine," said James. "I used to see you together, you were always really good at him. But some people… well, they're just like that. I mean, you saw what he almost did to Sirius back there. And for what? I mean, I know Padfoot's not a saint, but this time he wasn't even attacking Snivellus!"

"I know!" said Lily. "I'm glad Professor Slughorn managed to intervene in time. You know, he wasn't always like this. He used to be really nice when I first met him— back before he was sorted into Slytherin."

"It's well known that Slytherin's a breeding ground for snakes," said James. "They're rotten, the lot of them. Did you know that You-Know-Who used to be a Slytherin?"

Lily's mouth swung open.

"He studied at Hogwarts?" she asked.

"Yeah, about 25 years ago," said James. "And, like I said, he was a Slytherin. And… well, Slytherin himself was also a rotten egg. There's just something evil about that house, I could go on and on about all the Dark Wizards that have come from there…"

"Oh, please don't!" said Lily. "I'd rather think of something else."

"How about this for a change of topic: would you like to go to the next Hogsmeade trip with me?" asked James. Lily turned to look at him and blushed. She opened her mouth and then closed it, trying to think of what to say. Of course James had changed, and a lot. He was smart, funny, good-looking… but would she dare take a chance with him? Can a person really change that much? What about Sirius? As much as Lily liked him, he could be kind of evil himself sometimes. Would it be the same as with Severus?

Severus... their friendship had absolutely no chance of recovering if she ever started dating James Potter. So what would it be? Would she forgive... or forget?

Before she could make up her mind, though, they heard two urgent voices at the other end of the hallway. Before Lily could react, James pulled her behind a suit of armour. Thinking ill of his intentions, Lily tried to push him away and cry out in indignation, but James made a motion for her to lower her voice.

"Avery," he whispered, and then turned his back on her to eavesdrop better. Lily pressed against his back so she too could hear what was going on and caught a whiff of his scent— he smelled fresh and outdoorsy, and for a moment Lily lost track of what they were doing and why.

Avery and his girlfriend, Boa, were walking down the hallway and arguing in hushed tones.

"Stop insisting! I've already given you my answer and it's still no, Boa, so you better—"

"I'm just saying I want to be part of it. I'm as good spell-caster as anyone! Hell, I'm even better than you at some things! And I hate the mudbloods even more than you do— stop ignoring me, dammit!"

Avery, being a head taller than Boa, was striding along the hallway, and Boa was practically running to catch up with him. She finally managed to out-pace him and planted herself in front of him, blocking the way with her hands on her hips. Avery seemed exasperated as he looked at her.

"Yeah, but that's not the point. Boa, I won't let you do it. It's not even your place."

"What the bloody hell does that even mean?" Even though she couldn't see Boa's face, Lily could've sworn she just turned incredibly red. Lily, too, was beginning to feel disgusted by the turn the conversation had started to take.

"It means that you're going to be my wife and the mother of my children, not my comrade in arms," said Avery. He reached out and tried to brush off a lock of auburn hair from Boa's face, but she slapped his hand away. He once again grew impatient. "Besides, your father already said—"

"So you're still communicating with him? Even after I asked you to stop it? Well, I don't care! I told you I'm bloody tired of having both of you getting in league to control me. You won't control me, you hear! And if I want to be in on it too, I bloody _will_! I'll talk to Severus! _He'll _listen to me!"

"And what makes you think _I'll_ listen to him?" asked Avery. "Huh? I'm still in charge of this and I say _no_! You're a girl! Girls aren't supposed to get involved in these kinds of things."

"You are a complete arse!" yelled Boa. "I'm not even— you're just so— argh! Don't even _think_ I'm going to be your wife if you keep treating me like that."

"Who else are you going to marry then?" Avery spat back at her. Boa roared and stomped back down the hallway. Avery remained standing there for a couple of seconds, shaking his head. He looked at Boa's retreating back until the sound of her high heels grew faint. He then sighed, turned around and returned from the direction he had come.

Lily got out from behind the suit of armour, feeling shaken. How could she have even thought of forgiving Severus? He hadn't changed, of course he hadn't changed! If possible, he was even worse! The Slytherins were planning something against people like herself, and Severus was _in on it_! By the sounds of it, he was probably planning it along with Avery, otherwise Boa wouldn't have threatened with appealing to him…

It was as if Severus had betrayed her again. Lily felt like she could burst into tears at any moment. James seemed to be picking up on her train of thought, because he put a protective arm around her shoulders. Lily turned around and hugged him. It was incredibly comforting, James was so muscular from Quidditch it was impossible not to feel safe in his arms. Lily felt like she could definitely get used to this…

"Don't worry," he said softly. "I won't let them hurt you. I'll find out exactly what they are up to, and I'll put an end to it, I swear." Lily looked up to his hazel eyes and smiled.

"You do?" she asked.

"Sure, you just wait and see," said James. "As long as you're with me, nothing bad's going to happen to you. That's a promise."

"Thanks, James."

"Now, about that trip to Hogsmeade…


End file.
